Living with the Giant

(First Published Aug. 8, 2017) 

Living with cancer is like living with an unwelcome, uninvited giant in your home. After recovering from the shock of his arrival and realizing that he intends to stay a while, you must decide how you will adjust to his presence. Do you get to know him better so that you are prepared for his next attack? Or do you ignore him, hoping he will disappear as mysteriously as he arrived?

     After a while you become accustomed to the intruder, but you never, ever forget he is there. You tiptoe around him because any minute he might awaken, angry and threatening. Will he devour you in one large bite or be satisfied with a little snack to hold him over before he returns to hibernation? Sometimes he is so quiet you think he must be dead, but then he stirs, rears his ugly head and stomps around the house "fee, fie, foe, fumming," looking for the blood of an Englishman--or any man. He's not particular.

     The giant entered our home nearly fifteen years ago, changing our lives dramatically. We have adapted, reconciled, re-adjusted, and reorganized. We altered our routes, lowered our expectations, examined our faith, and replaced new normals with newer normals. We have pruned our schedules, leaving more of the activities we enjoy and fewer of those that create stress. We say "no" to social obligations and "yes" to dessert. We're slower to anger and faster to say, "I forgive you." We have made new friends--fellow travelers on the treacherous road--and mourned the passing of far too many of those. But, by the grace of God and--as my friend Linnea Olson says--with some very good luck, we have survived!

       Jim has experienced eight recurrences of lung cancer and an unrelated bout of prostate cancer. I have been by his side--literally-- during chemotherapy, radiotherapy, surgeries, biopsies, scans, and hospitalizations. I've learned more about cancer than I ever wanted to know. This blog is a vehicle to share the knowledge I've garnered with any of you who love someone with cancer. Enter your email on the right to follow future posts that will include updates on Jim, "In the Kitchen with the Caregiver," where I will share nourishing recipes that Jim has found palatable during treatment, posts from guests bloggers, and many tips on caring for yourself while caring for the one who has cancer. My primary purpose is to help you, not only cope, but, to find joy in the overwhelming circumstances that have become your everyday life.